Monday, June 27, 2016



Yooooooo so we got transfers on Tuesday and milagre of all milagres, SIS MAURICIO AND I ARE STAYING TOGETHER. Hahahahahahahaha that's right, this dupla is kickin it together UNTIL THE FIM. We called all the members right away and they were like "EYOOOOOOO WE GON PARTY SO HARD" and it was the best moment of my life. Actually, when they called we both started screaming and jumping up and down and accidentally hung up on our district leader. Hahahahaha. All is well, all is well.

BUT THIS WEEK WAS POPPIN Y'ALL ALREADY KNOW. There's not actually too much to report but I'll do my best
   - Sooooooo Pres has this new thing where the APs don't have an area they just travel around and train people and now he has sister APs as well!!!! He doesn't call them that, but I do. Anyway, GUESS WHO WERE THE FIRST VICTIMS OF THE SISTER APs?!?!? We were just minding our own business on Wednesday and they called and were like "yo we're on our way to your house in an hour!!" so we scrambled about to double our plans and clean our house (y'all have seen the Best 2 Years, you know the drill) and it ended up actually being REALLY fun and chill and amazing!! Shoutout to the sister APs because they're not insane but ARE amazing missionaries. And it was hilarious bc I was out with Sister Moraes, who only has 9 months or so in the mission but is the hardest working person I've ever met, so she was like "you're way older than me in the mission, what advice can YOU give??" so it was pretty adorable and I also didn't manage much more than "eat at least 2 Big Macs a week" so I'm not sure she was impressed
   - Last Pday we got the gang together and played a crazy intense soccer game which I have been missing SO SO VERY MUCH. Then we died of heatstroke and are very hesitant to play since but hey, at least we had our moment of glory
   - THE BENEFITS OF HAVING A CABO VERDIANAN COMPANION ARE ENDLESS, FOLKS. This week said benefits included Sister Mauricio getting her hair done and some impromptu Cabo Verde party that included a WHOLE lotta Kizomba and also waffles, which Dizia calles "fafflas" because english is hard. Hahahahahahaha I love these people
   - Also I'm not even sure how but WE FIGURED OUT THE SECRET TO WORKING WITH MEMBERS. Literally I don't even know what we did but we are doing it so well. This week it was called a whole lotta laziness and inability to cook in our house (stay tuned to find out why) so we were like "Yo Debora, what do we need to do to get invited to your house for lunch" and she was like actually I would love y'all to come and my two friends from Porto are here as well and maybe you could go ahead and give them the first lesson while you're at it. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA FAM. FAMMMMMMMMM. Sister Mauricio told me she was a pro a self-invites but I now have a testimony for myself that this is true
   - And as for why that self-invite was necessary, welcome to the life of truly poor people, everyone. So here in Portugal we have to buy our own gas to heat up the showers and use the oven, the works. Well we tend to cook and bake a LOT over here in Viana so our gas ran out for like the 9834209834th time this week and since it's the end of the month..... yep, we don't have any money so we're just kinda waiting it out, taking cold showers and trying to get ourselves invited to other peoples houses. Hahahahahaha the mission life. The situation just gets more and more hilarious every week.

Also PLEASE PRAY FOR MARIA EVERYBODY!!!! She was marked this week but she decided she just doesn't feel ready. And we're not about pushing or bothering people, pois não, but we KNOW she's SO ready and this is EXACTLY what she needs right now... we just don't know how to help her know that. So pray pray pray fam, we gon make miracles happen here!!!


xoxoxoxox bjnhs Sis P

Monday, June 20, 2016

Mi é dot na bo


This week was freakin rockin but y'all already KNOW because Viana is the best and missions are the best and life is the best. Heart heart heart

But basically
   - why yes, the subject line IS, in fact, me bragging about my vast creolo knowledge. It's actually not even in the least bit vast but it is enough to get MAD RESPECT from the Cabo Verdianan community. Not sure if it's the creolo itself or just the fact that I'm super blonde and the palest person most of them have ever seen and still manage to sort of say phrases in creolo but either way, I'LL TAKE IT
   - so yes, basically in our continuing preparations for our cultural party we did Cabo Verdianan things and Sister Mauricio taught me how to dance Kizomba and everyone was FLIPPIN A BIH watching the white girl be slightly less white than normal and then shortly afterwords I MADE A CREOLO JOKE, IN CREOLO and I think I could have died of happiness in that moment
   - in case y'all haven't picked up on my Cabo Verde rants in the last 3 weeks or so I am kinda slightly obsessed with Cabo Verde and it's wonderful people and I want to be like them and they think it's hilarious and I'm like a cute little white zoo animal "look everyone, this sister loves Cabo Verde and she's not even FROM Cabo Verde" and I just accept it bc this culture is too fabulous and African to resist
   - but moving right along, OUR PARTY WAS A SMASHIN HIT FAM. It took a ton of preparation which is kinda out of the box for us missionaries (we are well known for our last-minute party skills) but we involved basically everyone in the ward and it turned out to be so so so fun. Everyone presented their cultures and there was SO MUCH FOOD and I had 3 helpings of cuchupa with 0 helpings of regrets and all was well
   - speaking of food, since I am the only one from the US we asked the jovens to help present the good ol US of A with me. Which went super well but also I was like "hey fam what goodies should I make to represent this wonderful country" and left it open to whatever suggestion which led to me making, at midnight the night before (lolz tons of preparation am I right everybody) cookies, no-bake cookies, brownies, cake, AND BANANA BREAD. WHY DID I DO THIS TO MYSELF. I couldn't even appreciate my own extreme baking skills because I was too busy being annoyed at just how many times we had to go back to the store to get more butter and chocolate powder and sugar. Hahahahah if nothing else, at least this mission has taught me how to be a #domesticgoddess though am I right
   - I'm getting to this point where I literally can't remember anything that happens during the week besides "food party teach food noite familiar food missionary work teach food" and it's making writing these emails exceptionally painful and awkward A THOUSAND APOLOGIES FOLKS
   - As far as the actual missionary work goes though, THINGS ARE GOING AS SWIMMINGLY AS EVER. Honestly if I have learned one thing from this transfer it's that the Lord does everything, literally EVERYTHING in this work. Hahaha we have so many weaknesses and failures, and yet his work keeps chuggin along because it's not ours, ya know? It's His and He uses even goofy, trying-to-hard-to-be-African teenages like me as His instruments. Just a little inspiring thought for all the kids at home. Lolz. But basically, we're teaching one of the most amazing investigators I've ever taught in my entire mission rn and she casually TAUGHT PRINCIPIOS DO EVANGELHO this Sunday and she's marked for baptism this Sunday and we all prayin our hearts out SO JOIN US FAM and we will make Maria's baptism the greatest event since Neil Armstrong landed on the moon

Also just so everybody knows transfers are tomorrow so PRAY YOUR FACES OFF bc we have no idea what's gon happen and we gotta make these last 6 weeks the best ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry this email was ridiculous lolzzzzzz good thing this weekly email thing is coming to a close soon am I right



xoxoxoxox bjnhs Sis P

Monday, June 13, 2016

Party Crashing 101

What UP fammmmm TUDO BEM Y'ALL what is good in the hood for todos?!?!? This week was rockin ONCE AGAIN in the land they call paradise, Viana do Castelo. I love love love love LOVE it here y'all, and it's not just for the parties but it is probably 98% for the parties.

Which leads me to today's edition of Basic How-to-get-yourself-invited-to-every-party-ever, a 100-level class for all missionaries out there, taught by yours truly. In my current experience, I have found the following to be essential or at least exceptionally helpful in the process of being invited to parties:
   1. Have a Cabo Verdianan companion while living in a community of Cabo Verdianans
   2. Look hungry/use the extra pounds you have gained on the mission to show others you need nutrients
   3. Invite yourself to said parties
Again, these are just the basics, but by applying these principles you are garaunteed to see almost immediate success.

That'ssssss RIGHT folks, we spent literally EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. at one party or noite familiar or otherwise here in Viana. I have gained back every single pound I previously lost in Foz BUT I HAVE NOT GAINED ANY REGRETS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PARTIES PARTIES PARTIES. Also além disso
   - So some of these parties are parties leading up to the party Sister Mauricio and I are planning for this Saturday, a cultural night. And if you want people to get excited about something, just ask a ward of half Cabo Verdianans to present something about Cabo Verde. Omg they are out of control IN THE BEST POSSIBLE WAY we have met everyday to come up with theatre pieces and dances and songs and other amazing things to show how amazing Cabo Verde is
   - And when I say "we" I mean Sister Mauricio and the rest of them because they never invite me, not sure what that is all about. Also everytime they play Kizomba I start GOING HAM because I love me some Kizomba and all of them are like "woah.... uh. You should probably stop", or they just shake their heads and laugh so pretty sure I'm winning the hearts of the Cabo Verde community one by one out here!!!!!!!!!
   - In all reality though I feel more accepted by the Cabo Verde community than ever before. Sister Mauricio taught me some clutch creolo phrases so on Wednesday at a noite familiar one of the members was like "yo sis mauricio speak some creolo with us" and she was trying to be nice so she was like "no, my comp doesn't understand creolo so I better not" and I from across the table was like "Uh COM LIÇENSA I actually do understand creolo, boi in ya boi" and all the Cabo Verdianans there were like EYOOOOOOOOO YAS SISTER P GET IT and basically I brought the house down and no other moment of my life has been better, ever
   - I subsequently had to teach the phrase "bring the house down" to Sister Mauricio to explain how clutch my creolo use was
   - Speaking of which, ENGLISH LESSONS ARE GOING SO WELL. I'm thinking of starting a course, English 101 with Sister P (the supplementary class to my Basic Party Crashing courses). Sister Mauricio can now successfully say the following: golddigger, sucks (Ele BEM SUCKS), homewrecker,"playing hard to get", and many more. I feel excellent about her progress.
   - But before anyone feels sad about me not taking advantage of this excellent opportunity of having a native companion, DO NOT FRET. I also have learned at least 2 very important Portuguese words
        1. interesseira: golddigger
        2. mulher camarão: butterface (if you don't know what a butterface is consult your local 14 year old boy). And it's genius out here because camarão is a shrimp and with shrimp you take off the head and only eat the body. YES. 10 POINTS TO PORTUGUESE
   - Alright alright alright, before anyone gets concerned with the missionary work out here, y'all should also know that EVERYTHING IS GOING SO WELL OUT HERE WE ARE RECIEVING SO MANY BLESSINGS IT IS UNREAL AND THE HAND OF THE LORD IS IN IT ALL, FOLKS. We only teach member references. GOD IS GOOD. We have a marcada for the dia 26 of June!! And she's a little hesitant but we had a super amazing lesson with her the other day where she said she's not totally sure why, but she already asked for work off on the 26th. And at all of these parties and noite familiars we find new people to teach, friends of members. Y'all. Church is true. Not sure I've ever been more blessed in my whole mission. I'M JUST HASHTAG GRATEFUL

Sorry for the ridiculous email LOLZ know that everything is freakin fabulous out here and that I love the mission and Viana and the Lord with all of my coração. Thanks for being the trillest fam. PEACE AND BLESSINGS Y'ALL


xoxoxoxoxox bjnhs Sis P

Monday, June 6, 2016

The week we worked in our area for exactly 4 hours


So this week was totally weird and also amazing and also annoying but all in all good. Allow me to explain
   - First off, WE WORKED IN OUR AREA FOR LIKE 4 HOURS THE WHOLE WEEK. FOR REALZ. Hahahah we had a bajillion things to do and we didn't get anything done here in Viana. And when we were here we were like "uhhhhhh... we don't have anyone to teach" bc we've just been doing baptism things and it's getting really awkward BUT the good news is, Viana is perfect and we're trying our hardest to work better with our members, so we already have a couple of family nights set up with friends of members for this week. And it doesn't get any better than that, folks. Heart heart Viana is the best
   - So on Wednesday Sister Mauricio was basically dying of illness and leg problems so we kicked it early and it was the night before a zone meeting, so obviously I had to make some sort of amazing treat for it. And for all the extra time I decided to come in REAL clutch and make not one, but TWO CHOCOLATE ZUCCHINI CAKES. Oh my word it was out of control. It also took like 7 hours and I don't know why, but at one point slightly before midnight I called one of my only slightly good friends in the office to be like "ELDER JONES ELDER JONES THERE'S CHOCOLATE ZUCCHINI CAKE EVERYWHEREEEEEEE" and he was like "why are you calling" and I was like "CHOCOLATE ZUCCHINI CAKE AHHHHHKDJFJFALOFDLKAJDLAJDSJL" and he was like "please stop" and basically I'm considering teaching a basic How To Make Friends 101 class because I'm just so good at it
   - So then on Thursday AT said zone meeting I a) killed it with the cake "PARKS AND REC COMIN IN CLUTCH" and b) had the best time ever going to the literal best zone meeting I have ever attended. Apparently Prez is worried about all of us being stressed out of our minds here on the mission so he asked us to chill out, so our zone meeting was just eating cake and playing games and singing Christmas hymns. LEGENDARY. Not only that but it was also super spiritual and inspiring. All of my many hats go off to our dear zone leaders and they're ability to be chill whilst also bringing the spirit. It is a talent, my friends.
   - Side note: in case anyone was wondering, yes, my nickname in the mission is Parks and Rec because, and I quote, "you wreck everything in the office". Oh
   - THEN on FRIDAY we had to go to the doctor allllllll the way in Braga for Sister Mauricio (this is another, actually important side note: keep Sister Mauricio in your prayers!!! Stay tuned to find out why) because she has been having a lot of health problems with her legs, and a lot more worrying, with her heart, including a pretty scary incident on Thursday. Anddddd since Portuguese doctors suck, we spent all day in the hospital for them to say that the pains she is feeling are "normal". So, keep the prayers comin fam!!! She and I and all the investigators we haven't been able to visit her in Viana thank you
   - But the funniest thing about all the hospital drama was that we ended up spending the ENTIRE day at the hospital, and then we missed the last bus back to Viana. Yep, youuuuu guessed it fam, SURPRISE SLEEPOVER WITH BRAGA!!!!! Hahahaha it was a party. And since Braga is the best and Sis Mauricio and I both served there, we even got last-minute invited to a dinner with some of my fav members. Hahahaha life is good <3
    - Sunday we had this crazy multi-stake Eastern Europe conference over satellite that was really really cool!!!!! But I admit I'll have to re-watch because a) IT WAS SO FREAKIN HOT AND I WAS DYING. Noooooo summer is here fam not sure I'm gonna make it and b) I sat next to a completely crazy investigator of the APs that was vacationing here in Viana and her comments were just too funny to resist the laughter

Alrighty I LOVE YOU ALL here's to hoping we work here in Viana this week and less time in Porto and Braga lolzzzzz


xoxoxoxo Sis P

THE BEST ZONE EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!