Monday, June 13, 2016

Party Crashing 101

What UP fammmmm TUDO BEM Y'ALL what is good in the hood for todos?!?!? This week was rockin ONCE AGAIN in the land they call paradise, Viana do Castelo. I love love love love LOVE it here y'all, and it's not just for the parties but it is probably 98% for the parties.

Which leads me to today's edition of Basic How-to-get-yourself-invited-to-every-party-ever, a 100-level class for all missionaries out there, taught by yours truly. In my current experience, I have found the following to be essential or at least exceptionally helpful in the process of being invited to parties:
   1. Have a Cabo Verdianan companion while living in a community of Cabo Verdianans
   2. Look hungry/use the extra pounds you have gained on the mission to show others you need nutrients
   3. Invite yourself to said parties
Again, these are just the basics, but by applying these principles you are garaunteed to see almost immediate success.

That'ssssss RIGHT folks, we spent literally EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. at one party or noite familiar or otherwise here in Viana. I have gained back every single pound I previously lost in Foz BUT I HAVE NOT GAINED ANY REGRETS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PARTIES PARTIES PARTIES. Also além disso
   - So some of these parties are parties leading up to the party Sister Mauricio and I are planning for this Saturday, a cultural night. And if you want people to get excited about something, just ask a ward of half Cabo Verdianans to present something about Cabo Verde. Omg they are out of control IN THE BEST POSSIBLE WAY we have met everyday to come up with theatre pieces and dances and songs and other amazing things to show how amazing Cabo Verde is
   - And when I say "we" I mean Sister Mauricio and the rest of them because they never invite me, not sure what that is all about. Also everytime they play Kizomba I start GOING HAM because I love me some Kizomba and all of them are like "woah.... uh. You should probably stop", or they just shake their heads and laugh so pretty sure I'm winning the hearts of the Cabo Verde community one by one out here!!!!!!!!!
   - In all reality though I feel more accepted by the Cabo Verde community than ever before. Sister Mauricio taught me some clutch creolo phrases so on Wednesday at a noite familiar one of the members was like "yo sis mauricio speak some creolo with us" and she was trying to be nice so she was like "no, my comp doesn't understand creolo so I better not" and I from across the table was like "Uh COM LIÇENSA I actually do understand creolo, boi in ya boi" and all the Cabo Verdianans there were like EYOOOOOOOOO YAS SISTER P GET IT and basically I brought the house down and no other moment of my life has been better, ever
   - I subsequently had to teach the phrase "bring the house down" to Sister Mauricio to explain how clutch my creolo use was
   - Speaking of which, ENGLISH LESSONS ARE GOING SO WELL. I'm thinking of starting a course, English 101 with Sister P (the supplementary class to my Basic Party Crashing courses). Sister Mauricio can now successfully say the following: golddigger, sucks (Ele BEM SUCKS), homewrecker,"playing hard to get", and many more. I feel excellent about her progress.
   - But before anyone feels sad about me not taking advantage of this excellent opportunity of having a native companion, DO NOT FRET. I also have learned at least 2 very important Portuguese words
        1. interesseira: golddigger
        2. mulher camarão: butterface (if you don't know what a butterface is consult your local 14 year old boy). And it's genius out here because camarão is a shrimp and with shrimp you take off the head and only eat the body. YES. 10 POINTS TO PORTUGUESE
   - Alright alright alright, before anyone gets concerned with the missionary work out here, y'all should also know that EVERYTHING IS GOING SO WELL OUT HERE WE ARE RECIEVING SO MANY BLESSINGS IT IS UNREAL AND THE HAND OF THE LORD IS IN IT ALL, FOLKS. We only teach member references. GOD IS GOOD. We have a marcada for the dia 26 of June!! And she's a little hesitant but we had a super amazing lesson with her the other day where she said she's not totally sure why, but she already asked for work off on the 26th. And at all of these parties and noite familiars we find new people to teach, friends of members. Y'all. Church is true. Not sure I've ever been more blessed in my whole mission. I'M JUST HASHTAG GRATEFUL

Sorry for the ridiculous email LOLZ know that everything is freakin fabulous out here and that I love the mission and Viana and the Lord with all of my coração. Thanks for being the trillest fam. PEACE AND BLESSINGS Y'ALL


xoxoxoxoxox bjnhs Sis P

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